[TOO FUNNY] TOP 5 WORST JOBS IN LAGOS…

Brethren, most of them niggas in your village be thinking Lagos is the shit and players out here be rolling in bucks and broads and THEY all want to live the Lagos dream. Their conviction is usually reinforced around Christmas when Emeka pulls into the un-tarred main road of the village in a spanking new ‘tokunbo’ car that makes them village beeches cream their pants and throw themselves at the bros who left the village for ‘the big city’ barely one year ago.
But old timers in Lagos will tell you emphatically that all that glitters certainly isn’t gold. Niggers be hustling for decades and don’t have anything to show for it. Lagos is a particularly cold place, where you need to bend the rules and dirty your hands to get ahead. This is especially true for Unilag aristo babes who employ every dirty trick in the book to steal sugar daddies from their ‘colleagues’, but that is a story for another day…
I’ve tried to outline 5 of the worst jobs a nigge
r can probably hold down in Lagos State. Knock yourself out, yo!

1. LASTMA: Yup! The guys we all love to hate! These niggers are among the multitude of things that are wrong with Lagos State, considering their penchant for bribery and extortion of innocent motorists. They stand in the sun and rain all day, hoping and praying for someone to fall into their trap so they can squeeze the ode for all they can. But it isn’t one-way traffic for them. Sharp Lagosians have perfected ways to deal with these guys. Did you hear about the LASTMA guy who belligerently jumped into a traffic offender’s car and the driver calmly drove into the nearest military barracks where it turned out he was an army officer? I imagine they used beating to turn the guy into an introvert that day…

2. POLICE: Ol’ boy, it isn’t news that the Police have been abandoned by successive Governments since the last British Colonial Administrator said ‘fuck this goddam country, yo’ and hopped on the next plane to Jand. These guys protect lives and property against bandits and all, and get little by way of thanks from the niggers they risk their lives for. Lagosians generally scorn members of the Police Force and regard them as insanely corrupt ne’er-do-wells. You seen the inside of an average Police Barracks? It ain’t pretty, yo!

3. BANKERS: The typical Lagos banker wakes up at 5am, gets to the office before 7am and returns home not earlier than 8pm. Repeat this cycle for more than 200 days in a year and you are looking at serious damage to your health. Added to this are absurdly unreasonable financial targets and terrible working conditions. Tomorrow one nigger will sidle up to you and say ‘bros, find me something make I take am kiss alomo.’ Resist the urge to decapitate the nigger…

4. AREA BOYS: You have no idea of what these guys go through. Fine, everyone agrees they are menaces to the society but being an area boy isn’t all fun and games. You have to contend with the bus conductors who refuse to part with ‘dues’, Police who shake you up regularly, rival gangs who are gunning for your jugular, and colleagues who are looking to bring you down so they can move up the corporate ladder. Life expectancy for the average Area Boy is less than 40 years. Go figure…